A guy I work with knew I was working on a pretty good sulk today, so he told me this joke. It only works if you say it out loud.
Him: Knock, knock.
Me: Who's there?
Him: Smell mop.
Me: Smell mop, who?
And I don't remember what he said after that, because I was laughing so hard I was literally in tears. Because I'm an 8 year-old boy, that's why.
Poo and fart jokes never stop being funny. Or if they do, I don't ever want to be that mature. Lucky for me, I'm not yet, and when he told me that joke today, it really did snap me out of my funk. As soon as I was done laughing (seriously, 5 minutes later) I called The Boy and the conversation is as follows:
Me: Have a joke for you, wanna hear it?
Him: Sure. Shoot. *Obviously does not want to hear it. Is afraid to have conversation with The Girl, as she is hormonal and emotional and the joke is probably a trap that will leave him crippled in some way.*
Me: *Doesn't care. Soldiers on in an attempt to bridge that awkward post-argument gap.* Knock, knock.
Him: Who's there?
Me: *Insane giggling for long enough that it gets awkward, which makes for more hysterical laughing*
Him: *uncertain silence*
Me: *gasp, gasp* Smell mop. *more cackling*
Him: What? Smell mop? Smell mop, who?
Me: *COMPLETELY LOSING MIND. He just said poo, ohmagah, DYING*
Him: Glad to see you're feeling better.
...It's the little things. And I should mention, for posterity: As much griping as I do about The Boy's mom, she is a wonderful woman. She's come through some serious shit in her life, and deserves a lot of respect. We just... we're going to butt heads. I'm up for that, and I'm sure she is, too. So here's to a future full of biting my tongue and sucking it up. Hopefully, it's also a future full of poo jokes. That would be fun, too.