Sunday, June 14, 2009

Wherein I am a redneck.

I feel like writing, but am having an ugly, disgusting, not so good, very bad, pissy day. So I'm going to make lists instead of coming up with anything of interest or content.

Things I don't like:

-Strangers. I don't like it when they touch me, or look at me, or speak to me in an intimate way. It makes me so uncomfortable that I get physically squirmy and turn into one of Those People... The ones that are weird. The ones that freak other people out but what do I care because Strangers deserve to be scared, so fuck them.

-Flour. The kind you bake with. I can't touch it or see other people touch it. I also can't HEAR someone touching it. (Shut up. It does too make a sound.) It makes my teeth itch and then I DIE because have you ever touched flour? Urp. It makes me gag just thinking about it.

-Judgemental people. In my line of work, a lot of us become jaded and harden ourselves against any sort of sympathy toward the majority of the people we deal with. It's a defense mechanism, but also a result of the fact that you only have so much Give a Shit to give before you start wondering why people can't suck it up and solve their own problems. A lot of us become judgemental -- we see something we think we've seen a million times before, and the human aspect of the situation fails to register. We forget there are people under there with stories and lives and motives, and that nothing is ever REALLY the exact same as anything else. It's a challenge to remain open minded, but I think we should all try. It can't hurt anyone to treat another person with kindness and sympathy, and people respond to that even in the darkest of times.

-Tequila. It burns us, Precious. First of all, if I drink tequila I taste it for a week. I don't want to taste anything for a week. Secondly, I do silly things like decide that contrary to all evidence proving otherwise, I can TOTALLY do cartwheels. Also? Singing in public is my favorite.

Things I like:

-Physical contact. Any and all physical contact, as long as it isn't with a stranger. I have some sensory issues that cause my skin to be incredibly sensitive (or, more accurately, cause my perception of touch to be heightened) and I always feel better when I'm touching someone or being touched. It instantly soothes me. I especially love hugs. I know that makes me lame, because hugs are all gooey and mushy and whatever, but I just really do love them.

-The air at dusk in the summertime here in my hometown. It feels like silk against your skin. It feels alive. And truly, there is nothing that smells half so sweet as the air here at dawn and dusk. Can I just tell you that I really, really appreciate living in a rural state? Make fun of us as rednecks all you want, but at least our lungs aren't being choked by smog. Can I get a HELL YEAH for us hillbillies and our toxin-free air?

-Charity. Any and all charity. If you have something you can give another person to help them, it just feels nice. Plus? Doing something for nothing is good for the soul. I'm a firm believer in the idea that you're never given more than you can handle (because we're made stronger than we think we are, not because we're being coddled,) but also that when you're given more than you need it's a kind of responsibility to find a use for it and help someone else. I think it's part of our purpose here, to help each other. We need to look out for each other-- we're all in this together. (Keep your stick on the ice. QUICK! Name that show!)

-Jack Daniels. Hell to the yes. I love the way it tastes, I love the pretty color it is. I even love the way it smells. I'd wear that shit as perfume if I wouldn't get thrown in the drunk tank when I got pulled over for speeding (which hasn't happened in a long time, knock on wood, amen.) I'm going to have myself a nice double shot here in about a year, when this gestating thing is over and the breast feeding is done with, and I can't wait.


  1. my husband is a huge JD lover. we went to the Distillery when we vacationed in Nashville a few summers ago...